Me: Do you need a haircut?

Boy: No! You need a haircut!

Me: You’re right. I have one scheduled for this Saturday. What should I do?

Boy: You have emo hair. You look like Justin Bieber.

Me: Should I go bald? Should I cut it short?

Boy: No!

Me: How about some lines or maybe lightning bolts?

Boy: No. Don’t do anything weird. Just be normal.